


I Could Fuck A Dragon

by fanfic_roulette



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Car Sex, Fanfic roulette, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:23:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3196940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfic_roulette/pseuds/fanfic_roulette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colin could not believe that he had let Katie talk him into this. One minute, he was enjoying the two-week break from filming, the next, we was in the middle of nowhere with this prick who couldn’t have been bothered to ask for directions hours ago, when Colin had suggested. Now, they were lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Could Fuck A Dragon

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the product of a drunken collaborative effort that we have called [fanfic roulette](http://rabidcentipede.com/fanfic.php). Starting with a set of four prompts randomly selected from a list that we had generated, a five-person group took three-minute turns writing sections of this piece. Full disclaimer: we were drunk, not everyone necessarily knew the pairing or fandom, and it wasn’t always entirely clear what was going on. With that in mind, please enjoy.
> 
>  **This fic's prompts:**  
>  getting lost  
> Car sex  
> I bet you can’t fuck that...  
> reading/writing fanfic about themselves

Colin could not believe that he had let Katie talk him into this. One minute, he was enjoying the two-week break from filming, the next, we was in the middle of nowhere with this prick who couldn’t have been bothered to ask for directions hours ago, when Colin had suggested. Now, they were lost.

“We’re not lost, Colin,” Bradley drawled the first syllable of his name, a habit he had picked up from the way his character always said “Merlin.” Colin was not about to acknowledge the way it made him shiver, whether it was his own name or his character’s.

“Er… can I at least check your phone for directions? I’d use my phone, but the battery died about an hour ago.”

“Fine, if you insist. You are the most USELESS navigator I’ve ever had.”

Colin picked up Bradley’s phone, surprised to notice that there wasn’t any password set. Just as he was about to open the maps application, he suddenly realized what page had been left open on the screen.

“Er… were you reading… fanfiction?”

The color seemed to drain from Bradley’s face.

“Holy shit,” Colin said, “This is..this is...Merlin and Arthur having sex.  Holy shit.”

“You already said that,” Bradley said, trying to divert attention from his awkward shifting in his seat and wanting to change topics.

Colin had to wonder what this meant.  How much did Bradley read?  Did he get turned on picturing their bodies doing those things?

“I’m lost,” Bradley said abruptly and frantically.

“What? How, pull over, so we can figure this out, also you’re not getting off the hook from talking about your web adventures.”

“Let’s not and say we did, eh?” Bradley said with forced brightness, wrenching the car abruptly off the road and into a nearby field.

“No, no, I don’t think so,” Colin insisted, continuing to scroll through the story Bradley had apparently been engrossed in. All at once, a shriek erupted from his mouth, startling Bradley almost out of his seat: “The dragon?” Colin yelped, holding the phone at arm’s length as if it were attacking him. “Merlin fucks the dragon? You can’t--you can’t do that! It wouldn’t work! You can’t fuck a dragon-”

“All right, all right, let’s not get hysterical,” Bradley said placatingly, reaching over to snatch the phone out of Colin’s grip. “It’s just something odd I found on the internet, for god’s sake, it’s not like I’m into it-”

He broke off as Colin yanked the phone away from him, throwing him off his balance and causing him to flop forwards across the passenger seat--and, incidentally, onto Colin.

Bradley couldn’t help but notice a twitch in Colin’s pants, his face inches away from it. “And, I mean, I could fuck a dragon.” He smirked, rising up, inches away from Colin’s lips. He leaned in tentatively, Colin leaning in at the same time.

“No way...” Colin responded, their lips meeting.

Bradley pushed him off the passenger’s seat, into the backseat, Colin face down, Bradley pushing himself onto him, and reaching around to undo his zipper.

“I could fuck a dragon.” He pushed into him.

 

 


End file.
